1 00:00:01,870 --> 00:00:04,590 Valco! Serves you right. I've prepared something. 2 00:00:05,230 --> 00:00:07,610 Can't you just stop that? Serve it with a smile. 3 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:09,750 From booze to biscuit. 4 00:00:10,050 --> 00:00:11,009 Red hot ale. 5 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:14,430 Loads of tofu ones. The finest butchers, the freshest meat. 6 00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:17,890 Friendly staff, always happy to help. Am I getting paid for this? 7 00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,550 Don't forget the Valco tick. 8 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:22,850 Everyone always gets it wrong, it's definitely that way. Tick. I love the 9 00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,270 tick. Valco! 10 00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:26,250 Serves you right. 11 00:00:26,530 --> 00:00:28,230 Don't forget our brilliant... 12 00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:42,420 Right. Merry Christmas, everyone. Come on now, listen up. So, 2008. 13 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,220 What a year. 14 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:48,780 Barack Obama was elected President of the United States. Wayne and Colleen 15 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:49,900 Rooney tied the knot. 16 00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:56,800 And Valco Wiggin broke the £145 ,000 takings mark, a record which we never 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,960 thought would be beaten until today. 18 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:06,010 We're going for the highest Christmas Eve taking from any Valco store. 19 00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:07,270 Margaret, what's going on? 20 00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:12,270 I think Wayne Rooney's been made President of America. Whoever takes the 21 00:01:12,270 --> 00:01:14,430 money today will win this. 22 00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:16,870 Vernon, the Valco bear. 23 00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:19,510 Why would an adult want a giant teddy bear? 24 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:20,990 Well, hands up who wants to win Vernon. 25 00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:25,570 It is a pretty good bear, actually. 26 00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:29,670 Careful, Gavin. If everyone wants it, things could turn grisly. 27 00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:36,710 Now that, that is grade A workplace humour, Tim. How do you do it? 28 00:01:37,050 --> 00:01:38,050 I don't know. 29 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,750 Grin and bear it, I suppose. 30 00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,930 Tim, Tim, Tim. 31 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,350 Marvellous, marvellous stuff. 32 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,350 And now for some sad news. 33 00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:49,690 You're not ill, are you? 34 00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:50,589 What? No. 35 00:01:50,590 --> 00:01:53,950 I won't be certain until I've run some tests. I'm going to need four blood 36 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:54,950 samples and a stool. 37 00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:58,940 Shall I fetch one from canteen? Different stool, Margaret, different 38 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,660 No, no, no, the sad news is that today, today is Daniel's last day. 39 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,080 He's leaving us for head office. 40 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:11,300 What did you do that for? Last day, innit? A candle. It's not a candle. 41 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,020 Blow it out. I'm not blowing anything. But we found a very able replacement, so 42 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:21,380 I want you all to join hands in welcoming our new deputy manager, Katie! 43 00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:30,850 Now, I'm sure that you'd like to all join me in saying what an achievement 44 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:34,750 is. So, let's all synchronise watches. The store opens in five minutes. 45 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,890 And let's get ready to retail! 46 00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:45,770 Merry Christmas to you. 47 00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:49,390 Merry Christmas to you. I can't wait for tomorrow. 48 00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:54,430 Got anything special planned? Me and Alan are going to see the Carols. Oh, I 49 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:55,530 love a good Carol. 50 00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:57,150 Do you have a favourite? 51 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:58,670 Now, that's a toughie. 52 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,810 I would say the tall one. 53 00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:05,290 The tall one? She's more friendly than Alan's sister, Carol. 54 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:11,750 Right, right. When you said the Carols, you meant two people called Carol. 55 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,320 Of course I did. What did you think I meant? 56 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,160 Yes, madam, what can I get you? Neville! 57 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,420 Christmas card off me and Lisa. 58 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,120 Oh, lovely card. Look at this. 59 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:25,820 Well, there's a joke in there, too. Oh, this is fun. 60 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,840 Why did naughty Neville get no Christmas present? 61 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,180 Because even his kids hate him. 62 00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:36,580 I pissed myself when I came up with that one. Well, as you see, it's the thought 63 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:37,580 that counts. 64 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:45,590 There's nothing like a busy supermarket on Christmas Eve. 65 00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:50,390 Oh, no better time to be an area manager. Crisis management all day. I'm 66 00:03:50,390 --> 00:03:51,610 literally on my fourth coffee. 67 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:53,590 It really is. Talk to me, Tony. 68 00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:58,170 All gone. Right, do a horizontal product push. Get the organic chickens out. Say 69 00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:01,190 Jamie Oliver said they're this year's turkeys. They will literally fly off the 70 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,570 shelf. It's basic demand creation, yeah. 71 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,750 Oh, look. Hey, look, there's Tim. 72 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:07,450 Hey, Tim. Tim, mate. 73 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,179 How's it going? 74 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,860 Oh, like Chris Akabusi. 75 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,920 Record breakers? The takings. 76 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:21,880 Oh, record breakers. Wonderful stuff. We are going to hammer Wigan 2008, 77 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:28,860 mate. Oh, you're just great, Tim. 78 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:31,760 You just love the same things, you know. 79 00:04:32,919 --> 00:04:35,140 Retail, cycling, diastrates. 80 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,400 Uh -huh. All gone. 81 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,980 As you know, I'm going to let him DJ the party tonight, so, you know, you'd 82 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:44,080 better watch out. You might see me tearing up the dance floor with some 83 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,180 moves. Yeah, well, tell Roncorn to get you some more bags for life, otherwise 84 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:50,360 I'll have my boot up their arse. I've never really had a proper work friend 85 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,100 before. It's so exciting. 86 00:04:53,099 --> 00:04:57,900 Little me, high -fiving a colleague. You know, I feel like the thongs. 87 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,600 So, are you even listening to me? Yes, yes, Tim, your friend. I've got it, I've 88 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:01,999 got it. 89 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,500 Julie, get your shit together. It's Christmas Eve. Secret Santa to you. 90 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,780 Secret Santa to you. 91 00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,860 Happy birthday, dear Santa. 92 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,420 How about some of that? Bit of that. There we go. Merry Christmas. 93 00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,000 I've got one more for you, Margaret. 94 00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:20,370 I fixed it, so I got Katie. Got her something a little bit special. 95 00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:21,690 You know she's got a boyfriend? 96 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:25,310 Yeah, it's me. Well, it won't be too happy about you giving her special 97 00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:29,830 presents. Margaret, I... Thanks for the warning. 98 00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:35,650 Secret Santa to you, secret Santa to you. 99 00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:37,590 Oh, special presents. 100 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,290 It's the key to my place, so I'm going to ask her to move in with me. 101 00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,630 Oh, a present that costs nothing. 102 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:43,950 Thanks, Daniel. 103 00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,230 What else are you going to get her, mate? You know, why don't you give her a 104 00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:49,110 lift in your car or something? I think it's a lovely gesture. She doesn't think 105 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:51,690 I've got her anything. I told her I don't want to do gifts. Can't wait to 106 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:52,690 the look on her face. 107 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,390 What are you doing? What? 108 00:05:58,070 --> 00:05:59,070 I just put this on. 109 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,390 Yeah, and it's Christmas. 110 00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:04,690 Yes, I'm sure it's very sad that he left you at the altar, but I can't keep 111 00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:07,530 talking you down like this. Now get out of the cupboard and run your branch. 112 00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,130 Yes, you've got this. 113 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,990 Why is it always Julie Bloody Cook when we'd never... 114 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,260 Do you think I should ask him to stay on after Christmas? 115 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:20,220 I mean, far too good just to be at him. I don't know. I mean, he might say no. 116 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,520 Hello? 117 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,400 It's your fiancé here, Gavin. 118 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,520 Let me just see if Cheryl's available. One moment. 119 00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:35,410 Oh, little town of Adelaide, how sweet... Cheryl Fairweather speaking. 120 00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,490 It's Gavin Strong here from the Warrington branch. 121 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:41,230 I'm just wondering, do you think I should ask Tim to stay on as staff after 122 00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:43,450 Christmas? Ah, well, that's your call. I've got to go. 123 00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:49,290 Hello? I've got a five -second break to fancy a slog in the aisle. Cheryl 124 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:50,810 Fairweather, what's got into you? 125 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,350 It's bloody Christmas -y! 126 00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:57,410 Fairweather, see you. 127 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:01,590 Ah, that's really cute. 128 00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,630 So you're going to the party? 129 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:04,850 Yeah, I can't wait. 130 00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:08,670 Every party I've been to lately has been in a church hall singing the wheels on 131 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,389 the bus. 132 00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,990 They just go round and round, it does your head in. 133 00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:16,130 But tonight, Wild Lisa's coming out to lock up your boyfriend. 134 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,870 But not yours, obviously. 135 00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:20,009 No offence. 136 00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:21,010 None taken. 137 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:24,570 How's it going, Margaret? 138 00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,190 That is the life. 139 00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:33,290 There are no names on these. I know. 140 00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:35,210 I took them all off. Why? 141 00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:37,550 Because it's secret. 142 00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:42,810 Santa. It can't all be secret. I mean, people need to know what presents are 143 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:47,150 theirs. Well, they will when they open them. But they can't open them because 144 00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:48,690 nobody will know who's this who's. 145 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,350 It's secret. Santa. 146 00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:55,330 Oh, you are a silly beggar sometimes. 147 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:57,050 Okay, 148 00:07:57,670 --> 00:07:58,369 all right. 149 00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:00,490 You take this present, all right? Now. 150 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,460 Imagine you're at the party. 151 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,520 It's secret Santa time. 152 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,300 I was at the party. 153 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,159 Does it matter? 154 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,620 Yes. If that fishmonger with the bushy eyebrows is there, I am not staying. He 155 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,220 called me the N -word. 156 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,580 All right, fine. He's not there. 157 00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,660 So you've got the present. 158 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,460 How do you know who it's for? 159 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,900 To call the neighbours off. There we go. 160 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,280 I've ruined Christmas. 161 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,200 Oh, no, no, no, Margaret. 162 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:36,520 No, no, we can sort this. Look, I'll tell you what we do. We open all the 163 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,179 presents and then we figure out who they're for. 164 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:41,419 Oh. 165 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,020 Right, lads. 166 00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:45,200 So, let's get everything set up. 167 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,900 The party starts at six o 'clock. 168 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:54,540 If everything goes according to plan, we'll have robbed the place and be out 169 00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:56,040 here by 7 .30. 170 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:02,070 Just what I'm looking for. 171 00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:05,970 You do know you have a knob on your arm. 172 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,149 Oh, Colin. 173 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,250 How's he? I've literally just pulled this out of the packet. 174 00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:13,070 So, I know we weren't doing presents, but everybody knows that means one of 175 00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,530 so... Wow. 176 00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:17,570 A what? 177 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,810 I love it. It's really awkward now. I didn't get you anything. 178 00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:21,110 You've got me nothing for Christmas. 179 00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:25,550 No, we did say no presents, didn't we? Yeah, but... Seriously, you've got me 180 00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:26,650 nothing. Oh, I didn't realise. 181 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:27,930 That's all right, isn't it? Yeah. 182 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:31,960 Slime! 183 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:37,460 If things turn nasty, we will need weapons. 184 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,000 That's where Baz comes in. 185 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:43,400 Now, I don't like using guns, but do I come get guns? 186 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:47,260 What? It was not enough in the budget. I had to get tater sticks. 187 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,240 Why did you go for pink? It's Christmas Eve. It's all I had left. 188 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,000 You look like knobs. 189 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,980 Tim! Hey, Tim, mate! 190 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,130 Hi. Merry Christmas, guys. 191 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,450 Merry Christmas. 192 00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:06,250 Any news on takings? 193 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:09,090 Are we on course to tear Wigan a new sales hole? 194 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,930 It's a bit tight, but I think we can do it. 195 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,990 The big 145K! 196 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:14,250 Yes! 197 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,710 That would be amazing. 198 00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:22,590 I don't suppose you know what percentage of that will be cash, do you? How 199 00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,790 marvellous of you to take such an interest. 200 00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:27,010 I wish some of my other members of staff were this keen. 201 00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:28,350 You won't find keener than me. 202 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:29,630 I think you're great, Tim. 203 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:36,910 Yeah, and I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to stay on me on Christmas. I 204 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,690 mean, I'd be fine if you don't want to. Do you know what? 205 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:42,430 I would absolutely love that. 206 00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:43,850 Oh, that's brilliant. 207 00:10:44,890 --> 00:10:45,890 That is amazing. 208 00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:49,790 We can cycle in together, we can talk music, we can... Sorry, I'm just getting 209 00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:51,870 bit carried away. Get back to work, Gavin! 210 00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:04,030 Straighteners. Straighteners, now. Who could straighteners before? 211 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,110 Somebody with curly hair. 212 00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:08,430 Kevin Keegan. 213 00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:13,530 No, I think it's for a woman who cares for her appearance, but it's a specific 214 00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:15,890 present bought by someone who knows her well. 215 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:21,310 Sue, for Linda. Oh, you are good at this. Psychological profiling. It's a 216 00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:24,410 I'm like that cracker. Christmas cracker. 217 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:29,780 If you will. I can spot a tiny psychological flaw in someone and break 218 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:30,780 completely. 219 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,060 Used to do it all the time with my kids. 220 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:34,480 Next up. 221 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,540 What are you wearing to the party? 222 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,220 I've been to Dottie P's. 223 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,359 Me too. 224 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,320 Splashed out by once a little blackened bed number. 225 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,340 What? Has it got my flowers on it? Yeah, have you seen it? 226 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,920 Er, yeah. I've bought it as well. 227 00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:49,280 I'm going to have a full -blown meltdown. 228 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,280 I'm going to go out and get something else now. 229 00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,880 How could you be so selfish, Sue? 230 00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:55,730 What's the big deal? 231 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:56,910 Well, I have to look amazing. 232 00:11:57,390 --> 00:12:00,210 I don't know why you're bothering me. You'll only cop off with Neville. I 233 00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:01,210 that. 234 00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:07,010 You can't cut in. I'm only buying a bottle of Baileys. 235 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,450 Aren't you going to stop him? 236 00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:12,250 Sir, if you just... Ian, don't you think you should help Shai? 237 00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:13,870 He seems to have it under control. 238 00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:15,610 Ian, you're security. 239 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:17,350 Fine. No, 240 00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:20,690 I didn't mean... What? 241 00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:22,210 Okay, sir. 242 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,880 Alan, I have to ask you to move to the back of the queue. 243 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,480 We can do this the easy way or the hard way. 244 00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:32,200 Christmas bastard Eve. I've got four screaming kids in the car out there. I 245 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,200 ain't going anywhere, mate. 246 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,800 Hard way it is, then. 247 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:35,779 Are you serious? 248 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:36,780 What are you going to do? 249 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,280 You're coming with me. No, I'll follow you. No! 250 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:40,620 Please don't! 251 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,420 Please don't go! 252 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,200 OK, 253 00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:49,140 nothing to see here. 254 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:51,640 Ooh, a mirror. 255 00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:54,290 Oh, smashed to pieces. 256 00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:56,350 Seven years bad luck. 257 00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,670 Neville. Next. 258 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,430 Oh, that's a big one. 259 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:09,550 Oh, who would want that piece of... Oh, Brian. 260 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,690 Love, Margaret. 261 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,150 Oh, you look disappointed. 262 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,310 What, is it because the surprise is ruined? 263 00:13:17,770 --> 00:13:19,770 Yes. Yes, that's it. 264 00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,580 Oh. Oh, good, because I thought you didn't like it. 265 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,740 Oh, who could not like that? 266 00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:33,559 Hello, boss. 267 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,780 Oh, look at that, eh? 268 00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:38,040 Money just flying through the tills. Look at it. 269 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,240 All ready to go to the cash office. 270 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,240 Bagged up. 271 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,120 Completely untraceable. 272 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:45,460 Sorry? 273 00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:47,220 Nothing. 274 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:48,920 Nothing? 275 00:13:56,329 --> 00:13:57,630 What? Don't work here. 276 00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,310 Oh, 277 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,630 how many of them have you had? Eight. 278 00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:03,290 You're not even in double figures. 279 00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:04,930 Do you want tonight to be special or not? 280 00:14:05,370 --> 00:14:06,370 Give me a hug. 281 00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:12,430 There we go. 282 00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,330 Oh, I can't wait for the party. 283 00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:16,350 Wild Lisa is coming out. 284 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,140 I love wild Lisa. 285 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:23,100 I've not seen her since... It must have been that Kristen when she got her baps 286 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:27,480 out. What can I say? She likes to party. She does like to party. Oh, I've 287 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,720 already got a send -all text ready for tomorrow. 288 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,200 Here you go. 289 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,520 I'm sorry I did what I did to you slash your boyfriend slash husband. 290 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,380 Baby, that was so thoughtful. 291 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,720 Oh, no. 292 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,440 Bloody hell. 293 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:42,920 I thought you were getting a new dress. 294 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,280 Well, I needed a selection. 295 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,440 Don't worry, they're all going back boxing day. 296 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,340 Well, let me guess, you need someone to help you get ready and choose an outfit. 297 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:50,800 Yep. 298 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,320 Right, Tim. Hiya. Going to the party later? 299 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,740 Wouldn't miss it for the world. 300 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,840 He still fancies me. 301 00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,320 Shame I've already got a man. 302 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,460 Is Neville really a man, though? 303 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,100 Oh, this sort of debate again. Look, I've still got one testicle. I still 304 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,500 much consider myself a man. 305 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,360 Ladies and gentlemen, the store will be closing in five minutes. Thank you. 306 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,400 Merry Christmas, Charlie. 307 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,920 Three, 308 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:24,479 was it? 309 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,459 Four, it was. 310 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,380 Oh, it was four, thank you. Thank you, Charlie. 311 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:28,580 Merry Christmas. 312 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,140 And we are closed! 313 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,980 Any news? 314 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,240 What are they taking? 315 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,800 Yes, they should be through any minute. Can you please just calm down, please, 316 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,700 everyone? Literally couldn't give less of a shit. 317 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,020 They've come through. 318 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:52,960 I'm afraid that we didn't beat the 2008 Tay Kicks. We absolutely smashed it! 319 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,300 152 ,000 pounds and 18 pence! 320 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,300 You beauty! 321 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,900 We did it, mate! Well done! 322 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,960 This calls for a party! 323 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:10,780 Oh, 324 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:15,260 I've forgotten something. 325 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:16,880 I'll see you later. 326 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Let's go, boys. 327 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,800 We are actually disabled. 328 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,100 Why not disabled? 329 00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,800 Front entrance disabled. 330 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,720 Shit. 331 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,100 Well, what do you reckon? 332 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,679 I like it. 333 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,460 What's wrong with it? Nothing. It's nice. 334 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,380 Nice? Not wearing nice? 335 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,420 Do you mind? I'm in my pants. 336 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,720 Nothing I haven't seen before. 337 00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,420 What? When? Look, Ian... 338 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,900 I'm trying to get changed with this secret Santa. 339 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,740 I hope what you're coming for is really important. 340 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,079 I'll cut to the chase, Gavin. I failed to protect the store. 341 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,660 Something I swore to do on oath on my first day. Yeah, as I said, you don't 342 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,060 really need to take an oath, do you remember? 343 00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:23,420 Today that oath was broken. 344 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:25,420 I'm standing down. 345 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,400 Don't you think you're overreacting? My mind's made up. 346 00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:29,840 Yeah, well, what are you going to do? 347 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,080 Because I'm scared! 348 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,140 Sorry, I thought you were going to ask me why I was leaving, and I was going to 349 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,540 say, because I'm scared. 350 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,330 I want you to have my badge. I really think you should sleep on it. 351 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:45,850 And my baton. You're not supposed to have a baton. And my pepper spray. Yeah, 352 00:17:45,850 --> 00:17:46,849 I'm pretty sure that's illegal. 353 00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:49,870 Bye, Gavin. I'm going to take one last floor walk for old time's sake. 354 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:51,690 And now my watch is ended. 355 00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:02,790 New parents are always the first to get wasted. 356 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,490 That's nothing for them. 357 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:06,310 She's still got her top on. 358 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,160 Right, we need more white wine over here. I need somebody on the punch. And 359 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,380 sorry, people. We've got to do better than two flavours of crisp. Come on. 360 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,780 You two, dance. 361 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,940 Katie, look like you're having fun. 362 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:20,960 No, more fun. Bigger. 363 00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:22,740 Bigger still. 364 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,460 Come on, everybody. 365 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,600 Hey, games. It's Christmas Eve. 366 00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:33,080 Would you like to dance, Tim? I think I'll just go and see what tunes the DJ's 367 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,080 got. 368 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,880 Right, gentlemen, it's time. 369 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,180 I'll keep everything together here. Baz, you slip away, go and find the manager. 370 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,880 Take him to the cash office, get him to open up. Do whatever you've got to do. 371 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:48,680 I'll join you in 30. 372 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,340 Time to go to work. 373 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,280 Oh, God. 374 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,620 I wish I slipped this like a dildo. 375 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:11,860 Come to papa. 376 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,740 I'm having a wee, I'm having a wee. Oh, what can it be? I'm having a wee. I'm 377 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:21,240 feeling grand, I'm feeling grand, I'm feeling grand. I'm washing my hands, 378 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240 filled a tea. 379 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,700 Ho, 380 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,020 ho, ho. 381 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:30,759 What do you reckon? 382 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,640 Brilliant, amazing, stunning. 383 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,960 How can we go to the bloody party? 384 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,059 Yeah, of course. 385 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,520 Once I've done my make -up, will you give us an hand? Oh, fine. 386 00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:42,250 Don't do it like you're a cop. No offence. 387 00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:43,730 Oh, non -bloody taken. 388 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,270 We're here. 389 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:55,470 We can do this the easy way or the hard way. 390 00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:59,970 Put the code in. I don't know the security code. You're the manager. 391 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:01,310 I'll say it again. 392 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,710 Put the code in. I'm not the manager. 393 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,470 OK, hard way it is. 394 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,280 I knew you were real. 395 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:17,640 Oh, no. 396 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,900 No, no. Don't lose me, Gavin. 397 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,520 Wow. I didn't see that coming. 398 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,360 No. Listen, Shia, what are you doing? Oh, there was some trouble at the till. 399 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,480 There was a customer and he started chasing me, so I'm just hiding here till 400 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,440 it's over. But the store had closed an hour ago. 401 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,440 Yeah, well, I'll just stay the night just to be safe. 402 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,400 Why are you barefoot? Oh, well, the shoes that this costume came with were 403 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,920 8. I mean, they're practically clown shoes. 404 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,960 Anyway, look, you can't stay here all night. Oh, no, look. 405 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,460 I've got an idea. 406 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:51,080 Secret Santa might need a secret elf to help him. Yeah, that sounds really 407 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,080 creepy. 408 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,060 I got you a drink, Tim. 409 00:20:57,780 --> 00:20:59,380 What? It's not drugs. 410 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,900 What? I don't work here. 411 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,760 This is a joke, right? 412 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,400 I bet you've got me a present. You're just going to give it me tomorrow. 413 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:12,840 Tomorrow? 414 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,660 I don't think we'll see each other tomorrow. 415 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,420 Well, yeah. I thought I'd be seeing my boyfriend on Christmas Day. 416 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,240 No, we're not that serious, are we? 417 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:20,960 Obviously not. 418 00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:28,420 Trouble with Katie? It's fine. 419 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,380 Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. Danny boy, Dandel D. Trust me, it's not fine. 420 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:34,920 Katie's upset. 421 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,480 She feels afraid. 422 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,859 Know why? 423 00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:38,860 Yep. 424 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,080 Festivalisophobia. 425 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,230 An acute fear of Christmas. It's as plain as her nose. 426 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:44,770 Oh, Katie likes Christmas. 427 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:48,410 We're going to have to help her through this. It's a lot like dog training. 428 00:21:48,730 --> 00:21:53,350 We make her associate Christmas with good things. You show her some tinsel, 429 00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:55,710 you give her a treat. It's Katie's favourite meat snack. 430 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,830 I'm going to go get a beer. 431 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:03,630 Good. Get me one too. Then we can get cracking on my unique 12 -week training 432 00:22:03,630 --> 00:22:04,630 programme. 433 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:08,530 I can feel it staring at me. 434 00:22:09,969 --> 00:22:14,330 You looking at your present again. I knew you'd love it. 435 00:22:16,450 --> 00:22:19,970 Something's up. We should be in by now. Right, you stay here. Keep the party 436 00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:22,450 going. Me and Carl will go check it out. And keep it loud. 437 00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:23,650 It might get noisy. 438 00:22:24,670 --> 00:22:26,210 Goodbye, fire extinguisher. 439 00:22:28,090 --> 00:22:29,670 Goodbye, Valco tree. 440 00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:31,770 Sorry. 441 00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:34,590 I just can't keep you safe anymore. 442 00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:37,910 You're cold. 443 00:22:38,330 --> 00:22:39,330 I can't. 444 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:42,080 You're a hard one, I'll give you that. I mean, not many could take a beating 445 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:42,739 like this. 446 00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:47,000 It's an interesting story, actually. I've got a lot of damaged nerve endings 447 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,440 to a medical trial gone wrong. It means I've got a very high pain threshold. 448 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,700 Have you said that? 449 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,940 I'm rather hoping I'll black out soon. 450 00:22:58,540 --> 00:22:59,540 You're going. 451 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:01,640 Think, Ian. 452 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,460 The store's under real threat now. 453 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,200 Do you fight or run away? 454 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,640 No more, no more. Oi! Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 455 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,240 What are you doing? 456 00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:19,280 I'm trying to get the manager to talk, except he thinks he's some kind of hero. 457 00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:21,020 That's not the manager. 458 00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:22,099 Isn't he? 459 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,240 Oh, I thought you'd remember. 460 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,640 Met him before in the canteen. Yeah, I did try and explain. 461 00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:28,020 I know you. 462 00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:31,580 It's Neville, innit? I mugged you a few years ago on the ice street. Oh, yes. 463 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,400 Yeah, that's how I recognise those eyes. 464 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,560 How are you doing? Yeah, fairly good, thanks. 465 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,040 Oh, well, you must be doing well. 466 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,540 Mugger up to armed robber. Will you all shut up? 467 00:23:41,930 --> 00:23:46,630 If Gavin is not here, and he's not at the party, he must be out there. 468 00:23:46,890 --> 00:23:50,850 Oh, Gavin Strong, I always knew you'd be a thorn in my side. 469 00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:53,450 Time for plan B. 470 00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:57,890 Right. What's plan B? I emailed it to you. When? Yesterday. 471 00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:00,690 Why could it... I didn't. Check your junk. 472 00:24:03,490 --> 00:24:06,790 Oh, yeah. Here it is. I'll call plan dot doc. 473 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,060 I can't open it. Yeah, I too have converted to a PDF file. 474 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,620 Right. Who most of the jobs they send the plan through is a PDF. 475 00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:16,940 Just saying. 476 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:24,260 I still don't get how you do it all in one night. 477 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,160 Yeah, again, shite. Not actually Santa. 478 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,299 Not Ian. 479 00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:31,300 No, what is it? 480 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,040 What? What's that, Ian? 481 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:36,760 Someone's trapped. 482 00:24:37,550 --> 00:24:38,650 In the old dairy? 483 00:24:40,850 --> 00:24:41,850 Bad! 484 00:24:42,650 --> 00:24:43,650 Rob! 485 00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:45,830 Who's Rob? 486 00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:49,630 Oh, not Rob from the bakery. What's he done this time? Not another gingerbread 487 00:24:49,630 --> 00:24:50,629 adult toy. 488 00:24:50,630 --> 00:24:52,710 The store's being robbed! 489 00:24:55,270 --> 00:24:56,830 Everybody get down! 490 00:24:58,250 --> 00:24:59,610 Not like that! 491 00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:06,430 Get on the floor. This is a robbery. 492 00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:10,210 Do as I say, and no one will be harmed. 493 00:25:10,650 --> 00:25:12,990 Yeah? What happens if you don't, mate? 494 00:25:13,730 --> 00:25:15,190 It'll turn nasty. 495 00:25:15,510 --> 00:25:17,830 Bloody hell. No, it's not what you think. 496 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:22,790 Think! Think of the taser. Thank God for that. Shame. I would have been up for a 497 00:25:22,790 --> 00:25:23,790 bit of nasty. 498 00:25:24,850 --> 00:25:29,330 My associate here will be going round with this bag. 499 00:25:29,730 --> 00:25:33,010 Place your mobile phones inside that bag. 500 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,700 And then sit on the floor. What about the party? 501 00:25:36,060 --> 00:25:38,520 You can't stop the party. It's Christmas. 502 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,900 Christmas is cancelled. 503 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,020 Obviously, I could have overpowered him, but we don't know how many of them 504 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:49,320 there are. That's why I decided on a tactical retreat. 505 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,680 Is that the bit where you ran away? 506 00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:53,540 Tactically, yes. You did the right thing, Ian. No sense in being a hero. 507 00:25:53,740 --> 00:25:54,740 Did you call the police? 508 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:57,720 I don't bring my phone to work. It'd be a distraction on the job. Why are you 509 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,420 wearing a phone holster? It's for my bounty. 510 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,019 OK, well... 511 00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:03,880 My phone's in the office, in my work slacks. Shy? 512 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,160 Oh, I don't have a phone anymore. 513 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,140 Colin borrowed it last month and he said he deserved it more than I did. OK, 514 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,900 well, I just need to get out of this building and alert the police. Front 515 00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,380 are out of action. To the reindeer! 516 00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:14,380 Loading bay doors! 517 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,720 Right. Done. 518 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:26,060 What the actual... What? You said you didn't want it done like mine. 519 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,240 You're dead. Oh, come on, it's just a bit of fun. Fun? Does it look like I'm 520 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,240 laughing? Yeah! 521 00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:32,540 Oh, 522 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:41,900 look, the wires have been caught. 523 00:26:42,820 --> 00:26:46,580 There might be a chance I could fix that. We can just get into the wiring 524 00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:47,580 above the unit. 525 00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:51,040 OK, new plan, then. You two stay here and work on that, and I'll go up to my 526 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,040 office and call the police. 527 00:26:52,420 --> 00:26:53,680 This is a store announcement. 528 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,840 Could Gavin Strong come to the canteen, please? 529 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,640 Tim? Is that you? 530 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,520 Listen, I need your help. The store's being robbed. 531 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,820 I know it is, Gavin, because I'm the one robbing it. 532 00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:09,500 What? You? How? I thought we were friends. 533 00:27:09,980 --> 00:27:10,980 I know. 534 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,720 I'm surprised you fell for that one so easily. 535 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:21,320 See, I have all your staff here, and it would be a shame if anything were to 536 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,320 happen to them. 537 00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:25,900 Especially the lovely Cheryl. You bitch! 538 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:27,960 Gavin! Oh, Cheryl! 539 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,820 You've got to stop him, Gavin. You can take him. 540 00:27:31,140 --> 00:27:34,260 Oh, also, have you set the skybox for love, actually? 541 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,680 Oh, yes, yes, I did, but the ending clashed with the Christmas bake -off, 542 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,620 No! No! Enough of this! I'm holding all the cards here, Gavin. If you don't meet 543 00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:44,940 my demands, I'll have to start hurting hostages. 544 00:27:45,140 --> 00:27:51,400 Starting with... Eenie... Meenie... Miney... You. 545 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,020 Me? Again? 546 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:55,300 Oh, thank God. 547 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,620 Never. You'll never get away with this. 548 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,400 But I will. 549 00:28:01,020 --> 00:28:02,440 See, I've cut the phone line. 550 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:08,960 Disable the emergency channels and have full access to the in -store CCTV. 551 00:28:10,740 --> 00:28:13,280 Tick -tock. Gavin Strong. 552 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,140 There's no way you'll get from here to your office and call the police without 553 00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,140 being seen on CCTV. 554 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,020 There is one way. What is it? Is it the reindeer? 555 00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:23,540 No. 556 00:28:27,530 --> 00:28:29,370 Step up and be that hero. 557 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:41,130 Hey. 558 00:28:43,310 --> 00:28:44,550 Can't say much more of this. 559 00:28:45,050 --> 00:28:47,430 I am away from my baby. This isn't fair. 560 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:50,230 Stay strong, Mika. You'll be with your baby soon. 561 00:28:50,450 --> 00:28:52,540 What? No, I'm not bothered about that. 562 00:28:52,860 --> 00:28:54,360 It's just we've got a babysitter. 563 00:28:54,580 --> 00:28:55,980 I should be hammered by now. 564 00:28:56,500 --> 00:29:00,360 Bigger problems here? You don't understand the bond between a new mum 565 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,360 night out on the pitch. 566 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,800 Special. 567 00:29:02,940 --> 00:29:06,520 Look, there's a perfectly good explanation for how I was being a dick 568 00:29:06,860 --> 00:29:10,800 Excuse me. I know you said that there was no talking and he's talking to me. 569 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,820 Shut it. Will you get this? 570 00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:18,140 Really does look like a dildo, you know. Can everyone stop having a go? 571 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,080 It's all I had. Where the hell is Gavin? 572 00:29:20,490 --> 00:29:22,210 Baz, get out there and find him. 573 00:29:23,830 --> 00:29:24,890 He's got to be somewhere. 574 00:29:26,150 --> 00:29:27,150 Don't worry, Cheryl. 575 00:29:27,630 --> 00:29:28,830 I'm coming for you. 576 00:29:29,350 --> 00:29:30,350 I'm coming. 577 00:29:44,030 --> 00:29:47,330 Mighty Mountain Kitchen Foil. 578 00:29:49,740 --> 00:29:50,840 I haven't seen that for years. 579 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,760 I've had enough of this. 580 00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:55,200 Oh, I don't know. I think it's fun. 581 00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:01,980 Fun? Well, of all these Christmas games, charades, wink murder, 582 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:03,360 robbery. 583 00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:06,220 This isn't a game, Margaret. 584 00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:08,640 We're actually being robbed. 585 00:30:09,780 --> 00:30:12,660 Who? Don't worry. I'm going to get us out of here. 586 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,380 See the DJ one? 587 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:26,540 He's the weakest link in the pack. I'm going to get inside his mind and turn 588 00:30:26,540 --> 00:30:27,540 against the others. 589 00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:31,280 Oh, you meant to stay sat down. 590 00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:34,720 Yeah, a touch of cramp. I just need to stretch them out. 591 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,200 René Rapide. 592 00:30:43,860 --> 00:30:45,420 Yeah, go on then. 593 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,680 So, Wayne, this is tough, eh? 594 00:30:50,290 --> 00:30:57,190 Everyone here thinks you're a bad guy, but... I know why you're doing it. 595 00:30:57,310 --> 00:30:58,810 You've got something to prove. 596 00:30:59,690 --> 00:31:03,530 Well, trust me, I know all about family pressure. 597 00:31:04,790 --> 00:31:05,910 The expectations. 598 00:31:10,290 --> 00:31:11,930 You should run while you still can. 599 00:31:12,230 --> 00:31:16,690 Take it from someone with 20 years managerial experience. You're taking on 600 00:31:16,690 --> 00:31:17,499 much, Tim. 601 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:19,160 You should be delegating to your staff more. 602 00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:19,919 What do you mean? 603 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,800 Well, if you had each member of your team specialising in just one particular 604 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,580 area, none of this would be happening. At the moment, you're all chasing the 605 00:31:28,580 --> 00:31:29,259 same ball. 606 00:31:29,260 --> 00:31:30,480 I see what you mean, yeah. 607 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,120 I've had enough of these games, Gavin. 608 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,440 Oh, I don't... I don't know. 609 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,180 I quite like games. Still good. 610 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,020 Although you're in the warehouse. 611 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,900 Oh, the warehouse, eh? 612 00:31:53,180 --> 00:31:59,400 Our survey says... Do you want to have another try, Tim? We will 613 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,640 find you. 614 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,360 Well, 615 00:32:03,860 --> 00:32:07,480 if you find me, Tim, I'll give you the money myself. 616 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,360 It's actually quite fun, this. 617 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:26,840 Don't worry, Cheryl. 618 00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:33,900 Staples. 619 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,820 Hope you're having a better day than I am, Vernon. 620 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,320 What have we here? 621 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:03,000 Righty. So... Sorry, may I? Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you. So, you have a bat on 622 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,000 muscle. Right. 623 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,400 Wayne, communication. 624 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,340 And that leaves you free to deal with strategy. 625 00:33:08,740 --> 00:33:09,740 It makes so much sense. 626 00:33:09,940 --> 00:33:11,040 I'm just a baker. 627 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:16,920 I've had too much to drink at the Christmas party and decided to take your 628 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,820 trousers off and just defecate all over the manager's desk. 629 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,780 Happens more often than you think. 630 00:33:23,060 --> 00:33:24,880 So... You're not the manager. 631 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,520 Do I look like the manager? 632 00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:28,199 Kind of. 633 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,200 Yeah. 634 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:39,200 Also, you've got to work on your briefing, whether you're running a 635 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,900 or robbing a supermarket. 636 00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:43,360 Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. 637 00:33:43,820 --> 00:33:45,280 Thanks. Excuse me. 638 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,960 Brilliant. 639 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,620 Yeah. Take him up to the cash office. 640 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,240 Get him to open up. 641 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,180 Yeah, and we'll join you. 642 00:33:57,100 --> 00:33:59,540 Carl, step away from the nibbles and go and help. 643 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,080 See you. 644 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,400 Seems like Gavin is not as good at hide and seek as we thought. 645 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,900 Why were they never proud of me? 646 00:34:09,159 --> 00:34:13,219 They pressured me. Be a doctor, be a doctor. You're nothing unless you're a 647 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:17,679 doctor. What happened to letting a child be a child? 648 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:20,020 I wanted to be a dinosaur. 649 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,760 Here, Brian, have a tissue. 650 00:34:22,350 --> 00:34:23,590 And stop being silly. 651 00:34:25,850 --> 00:34:28,510 Oh, you've got a very nice face. 652 00:34:28,909 --> 00:34:30,850 Much too nice to be a criminal. 653 00:34:31,389 --> 00:34:32,389 Thanks. 654 00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:35,310 My mother always said I had a nice face. 655 00:34:37,290 --> 00:34:38,550 Before she died. 656 00:34:38,889 --> 00:34:41,550 And she wouldn't want you doing all this, would she? 657 00:34:42,130 --> 00:34:43,130 No. 658 00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:44,530 No, she wouldn't. 659 00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:47,330 Come on, it was like a stone with me. 660 00:34:49,650 --> 00:34:51,290 Right, babes. I'm sorry. 661 00:34:51,820 --> 00:34:52,820 I'm sobering up, Lacey. 662 00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:54,100 No. 663 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,960 Please put the party back on. If he doesn't have some boo soon, he's going 664 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,620 sober. I don't think he can last much longer. 665 00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:03,520 No party. 666 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,640 You heartless bastards. 667 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,440 We're going to get through this. I need you to keep thinking about the future. 668 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:12,658 I don't know, man. 669 00:35:12,660 --> 00:35:16,800 We are. You and me, when this is all finished, we're going to be shit -faced. 670 00:35:17,180 --> 00:35:18,960 But I need you to stay with me, Colin. 671 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,320 Colin! 672 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,400 Colin! No! 673 00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:26,960 Right, you bastards. 674 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,300 You just messed with a new mum. 675 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,580 Gavin should have called the police by now. Something's wrong. 676 00:35:37,780 --> 00:35:40,980 I think if I just... Bingo! 677 00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:42,820 You piece of shire! 678 00:35:43,260 --> 00:35:44,400 Let's go get the police! 679 00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:46,620 Hugo, I'm fed up of running. 680 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,320 Some people are trying to take down my supermarket. 681 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,780 I can't let that happen. Is it also because you're still tired from all that 682 00:35:52,780 --> 00:35:53,519 running earlier? 683 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,360 A little bit of that too, young shy. A little bit of that too. 684 00:35:56,580 --> 00:35:57,660 You go and get help. 685 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,560 I've got a robbery to stop. 686 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:04,800 Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit being a security guard. 687 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,300 You'll never get away with it. 688 00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:12,760 Merry Christmas. 689 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:16,320 We're busy. 690 00:36:19,759 --> 00:36:20,759 Jesus! 691 00:36:20,860 --> 00:36:23,040 Well, it looks like this threat's been extinguished. 692 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,860 Yeah, now, quick, don't time it, and call the police. We've got a party to 693 00:36:27,140 --> 00:36:28,520 It was good what I said, wasn't it, Gavin? 694 00:36:29,140 --> 00:36:31,620 Extinguished. You know, because of the fire extinguisher, Gavin. 695 00:36:31,820 --> 00:36:32,820 Very good, Ian. 696 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:37,340 I mean, you might have the money, but if your escape plan's as good as your 697 00:36:37,340 --> 00:36:38,860 robbery plan, you're just going to get caught. 698 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,000 So what I suggest... Lisa, what are you doing? 699 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,480 Don't do it. 700 00:36:45,140 --> 00:36:48,420 Maybe the two of you could swap over there and... 701 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:54,700 Why don't we just blue sky some escape route, actually, while we're here? I 702 00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:58,520 mean, we could try the old scatter strategy, where you all go in different 703 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,040 directions, making it more difficult for the police to actually target one 704 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,040 individual person. 705 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:09,300 Or you could go round the back of the store in a sort of corkscrew movement, 706 00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:12,740 round the back of the store, right in the back. 707 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,220 Oh, it doesn't matter. 708 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:17,760 I'm bad, baby. 709 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,440 Drink. Come on, we can drink. 710 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,140 I don't... Don't you go napping on me. 711 00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:25,260 Lisa, you could have just got Tim and ended the robbery. 712 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,320 What? I don't even work here. 713 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,200 Come on. 714 00:37:30,780 --> 00:37:37,120 Not too late for the party, am I? Kathy, 715 00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:39,280 you look like an action hero. 716 00:37:39,540 --> 00:37:40,600 He looks like Billy Elliot. 717 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,160 What the fudge? 718 00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:47,330 What the fudge indeed, Tim. Sorry I took so long. I was on the phone to the 719 00:37:47,330 --> 00:37:51,330 police. They'll be here any minute. 720 00:37:51,550 --> 00:37:54,650 This isn't over. I've got hostages, and that's leverage. 721 00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:58,150 Wayne, tie them all up. 722 00:37:58,430 --> 00:37:59,430 Nobody's going anywhere. 723 00:37:59,710 --> 00:38:00,710 But the police. 724 00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:02,270 Do it! 725 00:38:02,450 --> 00:38:06,010 You don't need to do this, Wayne. Think what your mother would have said. 726 00:38:07,470 --> 00:38:08,470 I can't. 727 00:38:09,170 --> 00:38:10,190 You're on your own. 728 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,040 Well done, Margaret. 729 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:22,040 It was a team effort. I did the emotional groundwork, weakened him. 730 00:38:22,580 --> 00:38:24,140 I'm still in charge here. 731 00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:26,060 I can deal with all these hostages. 732 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:27,560 It's over, Tim. 733 00:38:28,860 --> 00:38:33,740 And to think I trusted you. You had to trust me for all this to work. I thought 734 00:38:33,740 --> 00:38:35,120 we had something special. 735 00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:36,340 The cycling? 736 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,320 Music? I faked it all. 737 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,120 And another thing. 738 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,780 My name's not Tim. 739 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:43,480 It's Tom! 740 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,600 We had nothing, Gavin. 741 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:52,420 Nothing. And you can't talk me out of this. I'm not trying to talk you out of 742 00:38:52,420 --> 00:38:57,500 anything. I'm trying to keep you talking just long enough so you don't notice 743 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,720 when Ian... Now! 744 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,920 Get him! Go on! 745 00:39:02,980 --> 00:39:05,180 The plan we made to put the stairs... Go on! 746 00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:06,420 Oh! 747 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:07,900 I wasn't really listening. 748 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:12,880 Great plan, Gavin. Looks like you failed to prepare. 749 00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:18,140 So prepare to fail. 750 00:39:20,060 --> 00:39:23,080 Gavin, you've got blood on you. Is it yours? 751 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,400 Yes, some of it is, baby. 752 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,700 I feel I'm having a bit of a funny turn here. I might have fit down. 753 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:34,140 Wait, look, he's getting up. But don't worry, this vase will stop him. 754 00:39:38,260 --> 00:39:43,380 OK, now, may I suggest that while we're waiting for the police, we have a little 755 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:44,380 party! 756 00:39:48,490 --> 00:39:50,810 Leave. I think I'm being gay. 757 00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:54,470 Yeah, you are. 758 00:39:55,370 --> 00:39:56,610 Everything's going to be all right. 759 00:40:05,450 --> 00:40:07,510 I actually quite like it. Yeah. 760 00:40:08,430 --> 00:40:09,348 See ya. 761 00:40:09,350 --> 00:40:10,229 Who's that? 762 00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:11,230 I don't know. 763 00:40:11,530 --> 00:40:14,930 You see, you're asking me for a statement, but he's already taken one, 764 00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:18,230 think what we need to do is sit down and talk about workplace communication 765 00:40:18,230 --> 00:40:20,130 hierarchy. Another time. 766 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:24,850 You're off the clock, Adaria manager, and you're on the clock as my fiancée. 767 00:40:24,850 --> 00:40:25,930 your poor head. 768 00:40:26,910 --> 00:40:28,310 It's OK, it's just a bit of blood. 769 00:40:28,570 --> 00:40:31,770 Well, maybe I should take you home with me as soon as it's some birthday. 770 00:40:32,490 --> 00:40:33,490 You're rather like that. 771 00:40:34,090 --> 00:40:36,810 So, just to clarify, we're not talking about actual birthdays, are we? 772 00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:41,720 Right, yeah, bye, everyone. Merry Christmas. Bye. 773 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,038 Come on, Sharon. 774 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,040 Come on. 775 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,840 Baz, you were supposed to be on muscle. 776 00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:47,300 I'll wait for you. 777 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:49,440 Please don't. 778 00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:52,460 Oh, it's all right. 779 00:40:53,180 --> 00:40:54,180 It's OK. 780 00:40:55,260 --> 00:40:56,260 Oh, you look nice. 781 00:40:56,940 --> 00:40:57,899 Where have you been? 782 00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:58,799 I've been getting ready. 783 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,000 Did you get ready for it? Well, quite a bit, actually, yes. 784 00:41:01,220 --> 00:41:03,600 Oh, well, you can tell me about it later. Let's have a dance. Oh, careful, 785 00:41:03,740 --> 00:41:06,140 darling. I'm fairly certain I've punctured a lung. 786 00:41:06,730 --> 00:41:08,190 No, that's not it. That's my chair. 787 00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:12,890 Right, I know I've been really annoying today, but there's a reason for it. I 788 00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:13,629 got you something. 789 00:41:13,630 --> 00:41:14,630 What? A present. 790 00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:18,290 I fixed the Secret Santa so I could get you a surprise. 791 00:41:19,050 --> 00:41:20,570 What? What is it? 792 00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,630 I think you're going to like it. 793 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:25,430 A fidget spinner. 794 00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:26,750 What? No. 795 00:41:26,950 --> 00:41:28,590 Wait, that's supposed to be for Harry. 796 00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:32,290 He's cocked the Secret Santa right up, Brian. 797 00:41:32,630 --> 00:41:35,030 Psychologically speaking, I've improved it. 798 00:41:35,390 --> 00:41:37,690 You've all got perfectly tailored presents. 799 00:41:42,690 --> 00:41:44,690 So what did you actually get me? 800 00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:49,950 I know that I'm leaving Balco, but I want us to be closer than ever. Will you 801 00:41:49,950 --> 00:41:51,730 move in with me? Love you. Daniel! 802 00:41:52,430 --> 00:41:54,010 Yes. Yes. 803 00:41:54,370 --> 00:41:55,910 A thousand times yes. 804 00:41:56,270 --> 00:42:00,570 Oh, God. I should warn you that I'm on the rebound from Tim, so things might 805 00:42:00,570 --> 00:42:01,570 a bit crazy. 806 00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:09,810 All right, emergency first aid coming through. 807 00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:13,930 Let's go home and make an action movie of our own. Just to clarify, we are 808 00:42:13,930 --> 00:42:16,330 actually going to have intercourse. We're not making a film. 809 00:42:18,110 --> 00:42:22,630 Oh, thank 810 00:42:22,630 --> 00:42:26,150 you. 811 00:42:27,110 --> 00:42:28,630 Shall we go back to ours? 812 00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:29,930 Yeah, that would be nice. 813 00:42:30,210 --> 00:42:32,610 I think we're going to have to lose Heather first. 814 00:42:34,190 --> 00:42:36,750 I'm sorry your vase got smashed, Brian. 815 00:42:36,970 --> 00:42:41,910 Oh, me too. I loved it too. But everyone's all right. That's what 816 00:42:42,330 --> 00:42:45,970 I had another one made just in case. I'll bring it round tomorrow. 817 00:42:46,410 --> 00:42:50,710 Great. Oh, you could keep it. Oh, no, I ain't nothing.